


it feels so scary, getting old

by seasunwrites



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Humor, I only read the first and last chapter of ton sorry, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Light Angst, Making Out, Multi, Not Canon Compliant, Or maybe it is, Road Trips, The Tower of Nero (Trials of Apollo) Spoilers, a little bit lol, blame lorde, hey i wanna be in a coming of age movie, i guess, let them be happy teenagers 2021
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:42:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28508385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seasunwrites/pseuds/seasunwrites
Summary: Now that he thinks about it, he’s always felt as though some moments weren't appreciated enough. That he obsessed over the wrong things.And no matter how much he wants to, he can’t change that. No one can. So maybe breathing and listening to the crickets and the occasional owl is all he can do at the moment. Talking to Annabeth and Grover in hushed tones like they're sneaking out at camp is all that matters.Or,I write about the road trip that Percy and Grover and Annabeth did from New York to San Francisco.
Relationships: Annabeth Chase & Grover Underwood, Annabeth Chase & Percy Jackson & Grover Underwood, Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson, Calypso & Percy Jackson, Percy Jackson & Grover Underwood, Percy Jackson & Sally Jackson
Comments: 36
Kudos: 100





	it feels so scary, getting old

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so...I did way too much research for this skdhsjdhshds and now Google probably thinks I wanna impulsively go on a road trip from NYC to San Fran when I don't even live in the US lmao. (Sorry if this is innacurate bc of that.) This fic is basically me just being self indulgent and getting inspired by the one and only Lorde. The title and verses I put in are from Ribs btw.
> 
> I also wanted to post this yesterday, but I felt so fucking drained and sad bc it's rly cold, when the climate where I live is tropical and warm. So I just. took a nap. Whatever. It's probably bc of that bitch called climate change. But I wish everyone a happy new year, and hope that 2021 can be a year of healing and moving forward:)
> 
> So a quick disclaimer for this: I barely mentioned things that happened in toa, mainly because I forgot about them (sorry not sorry), and also I’m following Richard’s footsteps in the sense that Percy and Annabeth and even Grover are oblivious about Jason’s death. Idk I just want this not to be so angsty, like I want them to be happy just for once lol. They don’t know anything, not even about Piper moving. idc. I’m barely even going to mention Apollo, but I’m still tagging it as toa and ton spoilers because it takes place in the same time-frame, and it’s still sort of canon compliant. So yeah, hope y’all enjoy:)

> _I want them back (I want them back)_
> 
> _The minds we had (the minds we had)_
> 
> _How all the thoughts (how all the thoughts)_
> 
> _Moved round our heads (moved round our heads)_
> 
> _I want 'em back (I want 'em back)_
> 
> _The minds we had (The minds we had)_
> 
> _It's not enough to feel the lack_
> 
> _I want 'em back_
> 
> _I want 'em back_
> 
> _I want 'em_

Normal.

It’s a word he’d never thought to use in his life—but now, it fits. Like a puzzle piece found under the rug.

The morning is relaxed, the august air warm and comforting. His mother cries, as all mothers do when their child is finally able to be happy, to grow up and leave for some time and spend it with close friends. Friends who had been there for him during his most difficult times.

She takes pictures of them, her phone shaking slightly as Annabeth wraps her arms around Percy and Grover throws a peace sign. They all smile until their cheeks hurt. 

“Okay, Mom. That’s enough,” Percy says.

Sally gives him a look but stores the phone in her pocket anyway. She comes closer, perching her arms against his window and leaning in. He can’t tell what she’s thinking, but her smile is tinged with bittersweetness and her eyes are bright with unshed tears. 

“Oh, honey,” she murmurs. Her hand rests on his cheek, tender and soft as if she’s searching for that little boy she raised. Maybe she finds him somewhere because her smile grows. “You’re all grown up.” Her voice breaks again. 

Percy feels Annabeth’s comforting hand on his shoulder as he tries to blink back tears. 

“Aw, Ma, stop,” he groans, wiping at his eyes. “You’re making me cry.”

They both know that he doesn’t mean it, not even for the sake of Grover or Annabeth.

Sally chuckles and dabs the last of her tears with the palms of her hands. “You come back to me, you hear me, young man?”

Percy understands the meaning behind that, as well. _Come back. Don’t listen to the gods. Be free._ They’ll come back, alright. They’d all had it clear that they wouldn’t be leaving New York. Only visit New Rome and their friends, nothing else.

“I will. I promise.”

Sally glances over Percy’s shoulder at Annabeth, and then at Grover on the backseat. 

“Take care of him. You know how he has it in himself to not have the best of luck.”

“Don’t worry, Sally,” Annabeth grins, “I will. Both of them are in my care.”

“Hey, I’m the protector over here!” Grover protests; Annabeth sticks her tongue out.

“And my luck has gotten me this far, hasn’t it,” Percy grumbles to no one in particular.

Grover snorts. Annabeth stares at him dubiously. 

“Your luck, your wits, your friends. Gods know where you’d be without any of that,” Sally says. 

He can’t argue with that, however. Even as she gives all of them a motherly wink. “Don’t go too crazy, and take lots of pictures,” she backs away from the car. “Oh, and say hello to everyone in New Rome for me.”

“We will, Mom.”

“And do you have enough food? Did you pack those cookies I made for you yesterday?”

“Yep.”

She nods absently. But her face once again softens at the sight of Percy in the car with his closest friends. 

“Gods,” she sighs, “I’ll miss you.”

Seeing his mom like that, he couldn’t help but open the car door and surge into Sally’s arms as if he were twelve all over again. Percy may have hugged her more than fifty times that day, but he never got tired of it. Not when it made him feel like home.

“I’ll miss you, too. So much,” he mumbles into her hair. He can hear the car engine running and the sounds of sniffling coming from his friends, but for a second, it’s just him and his mom. “But I’ll be back before you know it. I’ll even bring souvenirs.”

Sally pulls away. “You better,” she chides. And they both laugh once again.

“Take care of Stella.” Percy opens the car door and steps behind the wheel. “And Paul.”

“I will, sweetheart.”

After some more goodbyes and promises, they’re off.

  
  


:

  
  


_Normal._

Percy repeats that word in his head to the tap of his fingers against the wheel. Over and over, like a mantra.

Three best friends on a journey together. But not to save the world. Maybe to save themselves from the remnants of despair and trauma, but no one else. Just them and the passing signs and the fading traffic, over the Hudson and towards New Jersey. 

The luggage that’s loaded in the trunk clunks occasionally. Annabeth takes his spare hand and munches on the potato chips she’d brought, but he doesn’t care about the noise. He’d offered to drive at the beginning, leaving her and Grover to fight over the shotgun seat. Annabeth won, but now he can tell that Grover didn’t mind too much from the way he’s taken the three backseats to himself, curled up and snoring as though his life depends on it. 

He also doesn’t mind Annabeth accompanying him. Not with her hand resting comfortably on his thigh as she gives him food. Grover could never.

His girlfriend glances over her shoulder at the sleeping satyr and lets out a scoff.

“How is it that I have to spend time with not one, but _two_ mouth breathers?”

“Since when am I a mouth breather?” 

She turns to him, exasperated. “You literally drool in your sleep because your mouth opens all the time.”

“I do not.” 

“That _was_ my first impression of you.”

“You only say that because I was too handsome and you were flustered, so that’s what came out of your mouth when I was finally conscious and walking.”

“Yeah, right. I still saw you drool, hence why I mentioned it,” she quips.

Percy eyes her through his peripheral vision and grins. “Didn’t deny the handsome and flustered part, though.”

She rolls her eyes. “Oh, shut up. I didn’t have a crush on you ‘till like, after our first quest. Besides, you were like, a tiny little thing—”

“So you _do_ admit to having a crush on me!”

“Babe, we’re literally dating.”

Behind them, Grover mutters something about tin cans.

Percy lifts her hand to give her knuckles a quick kiss. “You still liked me,” he says cheekily, glancing at her sideways.

“So what if I did?” She sounds flustered; he knows exactly what kissing her hand does to her. “ _You_ were crushing on me way harder.”

“Mm. Maybe, but you’re only now admitting to liking me. It’s kind of a big deal.”

Annabeth sighs—but Percy can sense her fondness. “I thought it was quite obvious since you’re my boyfriend, Seaweed Brain.”

“A kiss would make it more obvious, though.” 

“Hmm. I’ll have to think about it.”

“Hey, can you two stop?” Grover says in a groggy voice. “We’re going to die if you two keep this up, and then I’ll be third-wheeling even at my death.”

“Shut up, Goat Boy. I won the shotgun seat, so now I get to seduce the driver.”

“Yeah, and kill us in the process. At least _I_ would’ve been helpful.”

“Passed out and snoring? I don’t think so,” she says.

“Um, you can’t talk, because last time I checked, _you_ snore as well.”

“I do _not!”_

Percy looks at Annabeth and nods. “Can confirm. You _do_ snore, babe.”

“Well, I’m not the one that drools.”

 _“Excuse me,_ I’m a son of Poseidon—I have more water in me than anyone else.”

“You’re still a mouth breather, though.”

Grover lets out a bleat. “Annabeth! You’re distracting him!”

“You _are_ a bit distracting,” Percy adds helpfully.

She shoots Grover a look of indignation. “You started it!”

“Pretty sure I didn’t. You were the one saying: _oh_ Percy, I wanna kiss you!” His best friend retorts, doing a bad impression of Annabeth’s voice.

“I don’t talk like that.”

“Yeah, you do.”

“No, I don’t! Besides, I never said that. It was _Percy_ who implied it.”

“Guys!” he shouts as a truck trailer narrowly misses hitting the Prius. “Stop arguing or else I _will_ kill us all!”

They fall silent for a moment. Annabeth shoots a potato chip at Grover, but instead of annoying him like she probably wanted, he catches it with his mouth, swallowing it whole. 

She sighs and throws some more his way. Percy snorts.

Their banter starts again. But he expected it. Having near-death experiences on this trip would be inevitable, anyway. At least this time it’s just because of not paying attention to the road. 

  
  


:

  
  


They take the long route, arriving at the small town called Hershey. He hadn’t quite expected for them to end up here, but he’s glad that they did. Apart from his friends' bickering for the past two hours, Annabeth had gotten confused with the GPS, since they barely ever use it. At least the phone is monster-proof. 

“Didn’t even know this was a real place,” Percy mutters as he drives through the quaint houses with their small trees and small mailboxes.

“You do now,” Annabeth says after an obscenely loud yawn.

“You talk as if everyone’s supposed to know that a chocolate company is based on a _town.”_

Annabeth gives him a dirty look, but he knows just as well as her that neither of them had a clue that this place existed. The daughter of Athena had spent a great part of her life in a camp with little to none human influence.

“I think I read about this place once. Like on one of those reading comprehension tests they make you do at school where the text or whatever is some topic no one knows about.” He shrugs. “Never gave it much thought.”

Grover, munching on the chips bag, says, “I did mention that I’ve been here before while searching for Pan.” He swallows loudly and continues, ignoring their inquisitive looks. “Did I not...? No? Oh...Well, now you know. Sorry I couldn’t help while we were lost. I was kind of busy.”

“You fell asleep,” Annabeth deadpans.

“Yeah, ‘cause I figured if we accidentally crashed because we were so focused on everything _except_ driving, I might as well die in my sleep.”

Percy chuckles at that; it was such a _Grover_ thing to say. “The help was greatly appreciated, G-man.”

“What can I say? Sleeping is one of my main specialties.”

:

  
  


He never thought he’d go on a rollercoaster, but here he is, at HersheyPark, holding on to the bars for dear life as he stares at the ocean of green that used to look like trees and the little cars with the little people. The wind tickles his face and he feels like his seatbelt will come loose at any second from how steep the track is—

Grover whimpers next to him, “We’re all going to die, we’re going to _die.”_

Maybe to everyone else, it feels like they’ll die right then and there—from this far up in the world—as if roller coasters aren’t safety checked all the time. Even Grover is scared, but Percy realizes that he’s fallen from places much higher than this. He’s almost died multiple times. This shouldn't be scary; they’re safe.

_I feel free._

It surprises him. How he feels freedom more present here than anywhere else, right on this roller coaster train. It’s soothing—the sound the vehicle makes as it goes higher and higher up the almost vertical slope. They’re nearly to the top.

Track-track-track-track.

It’s like a clock ticking. 

“Grover, don’t be scared!” Annabeth shouts over Percy’s shoulder at the satyr, whose hands are tightly wrapped around the bars. He doesn’t think Grover hears her through the creaking sound of the train moving. 

“Open your eyes!” she says. “Don’t you think the sky looks beautiful?”

“I am _not_ falling for that!”

Annabeth breathes out a laugh. 

Well, to Percy, the clouds look like smoke, and they seem closer to it than before. 

Percy turns to Annabeth just as the track fades away; they’re about to fall. She gives him an exhilarating smile and squeezes his hand. She looks golden, the light shining through her hair and curls moving with the breeze. Grover takes his left hand, though his eyes are shut tight. Percy gives both their hands a squeeze. 

_It’ll be alright_. Maybe he says that aloud, or maybe not. Maybe the wind’s breath stole it off of him. 

He sees the imposing world just below, and his stomach drops. 

For a moment, it’s like he’s falling into Tartarus all over again; he wants to die before the impact happens. Percy’s vision goes dark; fingers are running down his spine. But then he feels the warmth of his friends’ hands and the screams of bloody murder—only he knows why they’re all screaming. 

The darkness fades away. He can see the ground. The impact zone, a second left before their inevitable death.

What comes out when they hit the bottom is unexpected. 

He laughs. 

His arms go up, reaching, and lets the gust running through the opposite direction fly them around as the coaster train twists and turns. 

He laughs through the whole ride. And it feels like butterflies.

They go on that ride ten times after that, and for some reason are still able to eat Hershey chocolate afterward. 

  
  


:

  
  


“We should hit the road soon,” Annabeth says, lifting Grover’s legs higher unto her back so he doesn’t fall off her piggy-back ride.

The park only needs to look run-down and dead empty to feel like that abandoned water place with the Thrill Ride of Love. He smiles at the memory of Annabeth complaining about going with him on the ride, red-faced and later mortified that they had been broadcasted. How times change.

For a strange reason, he longs to go there. Maybe without the worries of a quest or without the knowledge that gods use them for entertainment, it wouldn’t be so bad. It’s a weird feeling—as if he wants to go back. As if he hadn’t been fearing for his life all those years ago.

Steady sounds of footsteps against cobblestone bring him to the present. The pale light from the lamps and some of the rides, as well as the last traces of sunlight, try to lead the way for him, but really it’s only Annabeth who Percy is following. He’s too tired to think of directions. He eats the funnel cake they bought, which is warm and sweet while putting one foot over the other. That and his girlfriend’s relentless walking are the only reasons as to why he hasn’t collapsed from exhaustion.

“Okay, but,” he says, remembering Annabeth’s earlier mention, “we can’t really go that far. Like maybe an hour drive to some other town where we can sleep.”

“Yeah,” Grover rests his head on Annabeth’s shoulder. “Sleeping sounds great.”

“Or…” he says, “we could stay here at some motel and leave first thing in the morning. But we’d be pretty far behind on our trip. I just don’t think I can...”

“I can drive,” Annabeth offers. “I’m the only one that’s decently awake. And like you said, Perce, we’d be more ahead on our trip if we don’t stay here for the night.”

“Nooo,” Grover moans. “Annabeth’s driving is so scary.”

Percy tries not to laugh, shoving more funnel cake into his mouth, while Annabeth huffs.

“You can’t even drive,” she says. 

“At least I know my limitations.”

“Hey, babe?” Annabeth says, changing the subject.

“Hmm?”

“You have chocolate smeared all over your chin and mouth.”

“Oh.”

“Here, let me…”

“Ewwww! And me on your back? You guys are so freaky— _what the fuck?”_

  
  


:

  
  


They pass the Maryland sign, but he barely notices. An hour and thirty minutes later, Annabeth’s pulling over some inn in the small town Percy had found on the map. They book a room for themselves and, squished together in the bed, barely even brushing their teeth, they fall asleep.

The next morning, they leave straight for the road. 

:

  
  


“Remember when we were passing all this but in a train?” Annabeth says. She’s the one driving, with Grover in the front and Percy in the back. 

He sees why Grover fell asleep in the first place.

“Yeah,” Percy says, cheek against the cool glass. “And then I got poisoned for the first time and I blew up the Gateway Arch. Then, I fell into the Mississippi River. And all that time, I was the subject of a manhunt. It’s weird, since people still recognize me from that. Think I’m kinda famous in the mortal world.” 

“We should go there,” she muses.

“You kidding?” 

“Where? To St. Louis?” Grover asks.

“We’d be kind of de-touring, don’t you think?”

“It could be like old times,” she says.

“When I made national news because of the manhunt _and_ when Zeus wanted to kill me?”

“Why not?”

Percy shrugs. “Okay.”

_It could be like old times._

Old times, like when they were twelve with the scary, big world ahead of them; all of them had something to prove. Percy realizes too late that life is too precious for that to ever be important. 

He smiles to himself, watching as Annabeth and Grover fight over which songs to play. Grover bumps up the volume and Avril Lavigne blasts in the car. They’re the same people as when it all started, but so different at the same time.

  
  


:

  
  


“According to Google, St. Louis is marked at about an eleven hour drive,” Grover says.

Annabeth nods slowly. “Okay…obviously there are places we could stop by, right?”

“Yeah, it says here that Columbus is the nearest city, and we’d arrive there in like, five hours. Give or take.”

From the rearview mirror, he sees Annabeth’s eyebrows rise. 

“I can switch with you whenever you want,” Percy says as his arms reach forwards, fingers threading through the blonde locks that escaped her ponytail. She smiles up at him, leaning slightly to his touch. 

“No, it’s fine. I got this. But first, hand me those cookies.” Her hand extends back in an expecting manner.

He does as she says, and Grover offers her his leftover coffee. She gladly accepts.

The music plays quietly from the speakers, maybe it’s One Direction or some other horrible music choice Grover had decided on. For a while, they sit and watch the passing trees, the sky a clear blue. Annabeth munches on the cookies his mother made for them, and occasionally sings along to the lyrics of the songs. 

His eyes never leave the window. The way the signs and trees pass by in a blur is hypnotic, for some reason. He closes his eyes for a second, enjoying this sensation. Being alive. Not caring about anything. 

Percy doesn’t remember falling asleep, but when he’s woken up by someone’s lips on his, he supposes that that’s what probably happened anyway. The person’s lips taste like strawberries. 

He knows those lips.

Percy smiles against Annabeth’s mouth and sweeps a hand through her hair. The kiss is soft; the moment is over once he’s fully awake—which Percy suspects was her intention—but she still lets his forehead rest against hers, eyes not yet wanting to open. 

“Wasthat for?” he mumbles, lips unconsciously searching for her own. 

Annabeth ducks her head and grins, pecking him on the cheek. “Didn’t know any other way to wake you up.”

“Uh-huh. You gonna do that to Grover next?” 

Percy looks over his shoulder at the latter, passed out on the front seat, rasta cap over his face like a cowboy in an American midwest movie. 

His eyes cast over to Annabeth, who’s standing outside the car but leaning into him. Her arms and one knee are used for support, resting on some part of the car. She still has that radiant smile plastered on her face, like today is the most beautiful day in the world. Like _he’s_ the most beautiful day.

It had been too long since they’d had peace like this. Too long since he’d seen her this happy. 

She rolls her eyes; for a second he forgets what they were talking about. “Okay, fine. So I missed kissing you when no one was looking.” 

She shrugs, now fully inside the car. Her thumbs trail down from his cheekbones and towards his chin. Her grey eyes rove his face, thinking of a million things at once, most likely. She looks so unearthly, so _divine_ like this, with the sunlight cast over the left side of her face just so, that it takes his breath away. She kisses his jawline, lingering there. 

“Can’t I ravish my gorgeous boyfriend in peace?” she teases, peppering him in kisses, but none to his mouth. 

His hands automatically go to her waist, pulling her closer to him. As she plants a set of kisses down to his Adam’s apple, his mind lands on a thought, however uninteresting it may seem at the moment.

“What’s ‘ravish’?”

She chuckles against his skin, sending goose bumps. “Nevermind that, Seaweed Brain.”

Percy doesn’t argue. He missed this.

Just being with her, fooling around.

The way things are going makes Percy hyper-aware of everything happening around him. Grover’s snoring. Her lemony scent. Her stray curls that tickle his cheeks. How nicely her legs feel against his own, all crowded up. She’s practically in his lap, after all. She keeps up the game of kissing Percy all over, making him laugh. He feels the seat belt clawing against his shorts for taking too much space. He takes it off. Now, there’s more room. 

Annabeth pulls away and holds his face in her hands. Slowly, she closes the space between them once again, kissing him properly.

He sighs.

Damn. Maybe they could stay like this forever. 

_Fuck oxygen_ , he thinks. He doesn’t want anything else but her and her lips.

They carry on languidly. His hands unashamedly slide to her ass. She grins and smooths hers down to his chest, slightly lifting his shirt so that she can roam around underneath it, playfully tracing the lines of his muscles. She bites his lip, inciting a muffled moan from him.

“Oh my gods,” Grover groans, “you too are so fucking gross.” 

Immediately, they break apart, but Percy doesn’t feel too embarrassed by it. Neither is Annabeth, judging by how her grey eyes dance with mischief, face a rosy shade of pink. They’d made out in front of him plenty of times. They don’t really care anymore.

The latter, however, covers his eyes with his hands.

Annabeth snorts and turns around, taking Grover’s hands in hers. “Peekaboo!” She giggles at the satyr’s expression. “Oh, come on. We’re not even naked.”

“Yeah, that would’ve been scarring,” he mutters. She takes his rasta cap and hits him with it. “Ouch! Why are you so violent? Jeez.”

“We’re young. Deal with it, old man.”

“Technically I’m the same age as you…” Grover backtracks, “But yeah— _I’m_ the senior in this household. And to respect your elders, you can’t do any funny business while I’m asleep.”

Annabeth raises an eyebrow and leans into Percy. She sits once again on his lap and curls her arms around his neck. He doesn’t mind the change. 

“So you prefer to be awake?” she teases.

Grover sticks his tongue out at her. “I prefer that you don’t do _this_ , in front of me. I already have to live with Percy being horny through the empathy link.”

“I am _not_ horny.”

Okay, none of them could believe that, but still.

“That’s why you woke me up!”

“Wait—”

“I know every single thing,” Grover says, voice pitching higher. “Every time you think about Annabeth or something. And like, like, I’ve known her since she was _seven_. And you’re my best friend—”

“Wait,” Annabeth says. She has that shit-eating grin again. “What _does_ he think of me?”

“ _Babe.”_

Percy has the decency to avert his gaze. Hopefully his cheeks aren’t as red as he thinks they are.

Grover’s expression turns comical. “Oh, as if _you_ don’t know.” 

Annabeth buries her face in Percy’s neck. Her shoulders shake from laughter.

“And you don’t get to laugh, either!” But he probably doesn’t mean it, because Percy can see that a smile is blooming on his face.

He clears his throat. Annabeth extricates herself from him and wipes the tears off her eyes, still having small fits of laughter. 

“Okay,” she breathes. “Okay, so are we going outside or what?"

_She’s too pretty._

Grover sighs, “Yeah, we should go. Places to be.” He smiles at her anyway as if saying: _what am I going to do with her?_

They both look at Percy. He’s still staring at Annabeth. 

“Huh? Oh. Yeah, how long ‘till Columbus?”

Grover and Annabeth burst out laughing. 

“What?”

“We’re...” Grover grabs his stomach, wheezing. “Oh my gods, it’s just—you’re so in love, I can’t—” 

Annabeth is chuckling too, but not as much as Grover. She fiddles with a lock of his raven hair. 

“We’re already in Columbus, Seaweed Brain. That’s why I woke you up.”

“Oh.”

  
  


:

  
  


After a nice break in Ohio, Percy volunteers to drive, and Annabeth is happy to agree. 

“Mmkay, so where to next?” Percy asks Grover, who accompanies him on the shotgun seat. 

“Indy. It’s not too far,” he says, munching on a plastic wrapper. “Three hours.”

“We’d stay the night there, right?”

“Yeah. And uh, I have a place in mind that Apollo went to before...If you two want to go, that is.”

  
  


:

  
  


The Waystation is bigger than they thought. Without Grover’s nose, Percy doesn’t know if they would’ve made it. 

But maybe they shouldn’t have come here at all. He’d prefer to be lost in Indianapolis than meet up with _her_ again. And this time with Annabeth by his side. 

“I don’t know if anyone’s here. Maybe it’s just Emmy and Joe,” Grover says in a hopeful voice. He’s probably feeling second-hand embarrassment for Percy. 

_It’s fine. It’s just Leo and the girl I left on an island. How bad can it be?_

He takes Annabeth’s hand, squeezing it reassuringly.

:

  
  


“So are Emmy and Joe out?” Grover asks.

Leo and Calypso look at each other.

“Yeah,” Leo says. “Said they’d go to the zoo with Georgina.”

“Oh.”

“She’s their daughter,” Calypso fills in. She glances at Percy—then at Annabeth—and looks away.

It had been pretty awkward, and maybe it still is. Calypso had seen him as they’d entered the room she’d been at. Some botanic place—Percy wouldn’t know. But she smiled warmly at them, the same way as in Ogygia, and surged to him as if they were old friends. 

They’d hugged. He _had_ been glad to see her; it had felt like so long since last January, when things were even stranger for the two than they were now. But when he introduced her to Annabeth, the tension rose again. 

At least the uncomfortable atmosphere eased once Annabeth caught sight of Leo. She’d shed plenty of tears, crushing him in an embrace. They’d always been close, bonding over laptops and engineering. It hit Percy then that she hadn’t seen Leo in more than a year. Not since the Giant War. And the explosion. 

  
  


:

  
  


“So how’re things going for you and Leo?” Percy asks Calypso, once they’re settled in. Annabeth and Leo are animatedly conversing about something, with the son of Hephaestus showing off a weird-looking machine. Grover, sitting next to Annabeth, pretends to be interested.

“It’s alright,” she says with a small smile, watching them along with Percy. “Well...we’re not together or anything, but we’re good friends. Starting over.”

“Wait. You two...broke up?”

Her eyebrows rise. “Duh.” Then, her face turns quizzical. “Wait. Is that how you say it?”

That makes him crack up. He pats her shoulder fondly, and he realizes with a start that he’s now a head taller than her.

“Yes, yes,” he reassures her, once he sees her confused expression. She smiles again. “You’re doing great.”

They both grin at each other, and it’s like getting slammed by a train. 

He missed her. 

Seeing her again feels like his most hidden emotions are sprouting from the ground, once again alive. He’s disappointed that he wasn’t the one to see her out the island. That she probably resented him for it. And Annabeth. 

He whirls to find her staring at Calypso. Then, her eyes fix on him. Her eyebrows are furrowed, but she waves at them. Annabeth’s not fooling Percy, though. He can tell that it’s forced.

“Look, Calypso. I’m—”

“I’m sorry,” she blurts out, just as he was about to say the same thing. She glances at Annabeth for a second. “I’m sorry. Leo told me. About what happened. In Tartarus.”

Percy sucks in a breath. He doesn’t know what to say. 

Her face softens. “I...could never imagine.”

There’s a pregnant pause, until he lowers his eyes and clears his throat. “Um. So, I just...I was about to say sorry to you because I—I let you stay there, in Ogygia. Because I just...forgot. And the gods are shitty that way.”

“Yes,” she says softly. “Gods can be shitty that way.” She takes his hands in his and meets his eyes. “You shouldn’t feel bad about what happened. You had many more priorities.”

“I mean, yeah. But still—”

She silences him by raising her hand. “I admit: I hated you for some time. Cursed your name to the sky, or whoever listened. It hurt, that you’d...left. I thought about you, and the one you truly love.” She nods towards Annabeth, sitting with Leo. 

A pause.

Her eyes bore to the floor. 

“I was jealous, of course I was.” She looks at him again, face grim. “I always kept in mind that you wanted her more than me. It may seem silly to you, but that's how I saw it. Why did everyone leave me alone for someone else? Perhaps I was selfish. Perhaps not.” She shakes her head. “It was never her fault. And at the end of the day, it wasn’t your fault, either. But I was still angry. I wasn’t myself. I know that excuses nothing, but that’s what happened.”

Memories flash through Percy’s head.

Annabeth, blind. Percy, slowly dying from gorgon’s blood. His vision, turning crimson red. The flutter of wings. Echoes of manic laughter. Annabeth, on the verge of plummeting off the cliff side, searching for him. A curse from a broken heart.

The nightmares haven’t stopped. They get better each day, maybe, but her words are a clear reminder of what happened. 

He blinks back tears, gazing at the girl who, for a moment, had gone from the one who healed him to the one who may have hurt him most in a moment of helplessness. 

Her hands tighten around his. 

“And now,” Calypso lets out a deep breath. “I see that you’re happy. With your friends, and your girlfriend. She seems wonderful.”

“Yeah.” he smiles slightly. “She is. Grover as well.”

“I’m just glad that we’re here, safe. And hopefully, someday...you can forgive me, for my hatred towards you. And her. I understand, though. If you don’t want to. But I pray that someday, what happened can only be a relic of the past. Because I forgive you, and I only wish you the best.”

 _Maybe I shouldn’t forgive her._

Just because they’re on decent ground since her arrival at Camp Half-Blood doesn’t mean he should just...let that go. She almost killed Annabeth. She cursed her. Maybe he should forgive, but not forget. Though that wouldn’t exactly be forgiving.

Not entirely.

Or maybe he should forgive her later. _Years_ later.

But she seems so earnest, so genuine. She forgave him, and, at the end of the day, they were both at fault. Her for the bitter curse, him for forgetting that gods can’t keep their promises. Forgiving is all he wants to do, what he _needs_ to do. 

_Move on._

“No, I want to,” Percy finally says. “Forgive, I mean. And I... _forgive you_. I forgive you,” he repeats, clearer this time, “and I want to, you know, start over. Officially. So...friends?”

Calypso nods, a smile forming on her lips. “Friends.”

It’s like Atlas’ burden being taken off his shoulders all over again.

  
  


:

  
  


Before dusk fully settles, all of them talk some more. They discuss their lives and the future. Of past adventures and of new ones. Like the ones with friends and freedom. 

As Leo and Calypso recount their trip and then about the entire Apollo mess, there is a type of sadness in their eyes. A loss. Maybe something happened to the god. Or someone else that they know about. 

But Percy doesn’t have the mind to ask them too much about it, especially since he denied Apollo’s request for help. He should feel guilty about not exactly caring for newly mortal gods, but he’s beginning to learn that those aren’t his problems. 

Not anymore. 

He’ll ask. Someday. Later.

  
  


:

  
  


Grover’s rhythmic snores can be heard from the bed next to him. Annabeth’s breath is warm against his neck.

She’s staring at the ceiling when she says, “Did you love her?”

The words cut through the comforting silence like a knife. He furrows his brow, craning his neck to see her better. But since it’s dark, he can’t tell what she’s thinking. 

“Why do you ask, Beth? You know I love you.”

“I know.” She laces her fingers between his. “But...did you love her? Did you ever think about, you know, staying on her island?”

He twists his body to face her, breaking the distance between them so that their foreheads touch. “...I don’t know. Maybe I loved her. For a moment, I was...tempted.” He pauses for her reaction, but she doesn’t say anything, letting him speak. 

“Then,” he continues, “I thought of you, and what it would mean if I stayed. I may have thought that I loved her, but I was loving someone else way before that.”

His thumb caresses her cheek, softly traveling to her lips. He can feel her smiling. 

“Not to sound cheesy or anything but…” Percy leans down and kisses her, lingering there. “You’re my whole world.”

Annabeth’s laugh comes out like a breath of fresh air. “I think it goes both ways.” 

Their hands are locked as one, breaths mingling together and lips just barely touching. The darkness in the room feels like an embrace. A haven for just the two of them, like when he’d rescued her from almost dying and she’d broken down, in the middle of the ocean. The air bubble he’d created was her only protection then. And also Percy’s comfort.

With the two of them—lying side by side, safe and sound—he thinks that this is what people mean by a beautiful moment. It’s the moment that he wants to leave at pause for as long as he can. That he can remember from all angles. One that can be kept in a chest filled with memories, with a lock and key—so that no one can take it away from him.

He tucks a stray curl behind her ear. “I love you, baby.”

It’s a whisper, held there by the shadows in the room. A promise. Something permanent.

She kisses him again. “I love you, too. So much.”

  
  


:

  
  


The Gateway Arch is smaller than he remembered. Or maybe it’s that nothing seems as imposing as it was before. 

“Hey, Annabeth?” Grover calls. “Maybe we should ask someone for a picture.”

She lowers her phone and looks back to glare at them in annoyance. “What’s wrong with taking a selfie? We can take a picture perfectly fine by ourselves without bothering anyone, _and_ at the same time, Sally can see that we visited the Gateway Arch.”

Percy hugs her by the waist while simultaneously swiping the phone from her hands.

“Hey!”

He kisses her cheek, and her protest dies with it.

“Let’s see…” he scrolls through the pictures, Grover peering over his shoulder. “Babe, I love you, but if we want a good photo, we should ask someone to take it for us.”

She fumes, “Fine. But you ask.”

He turns to Grover, who holds up his hands in defense. “Don’t look at me! I’m not the one that doesn’t want to take selfies.”

“You were literally the first one who suggested the thing about asking someone _else_ to take our picture.”

Grover scoffs. “No I wasn’t.”

“You two faced monsters and shit and don’t want to ask a favor from a stranger?” Annabeth says, arms crossed.

“Look who’s talking,” Percy says, moving his hand from her waist to rest it on her shoulder, hugging her closer. “You were the one who wanted to take a selfie in the first place so that we don’t ‘bother anyone’.”

“Exactly.” She eyes the both of them. “You guys are the ones critiquing my photographing skills. So one of you has to ask, not me.”

“Is Annabeth Chase, architect of Olympus, too prideful to ask for a picture?”

She kicks Percy in the shin, while Grover snickers next to him. “Shut up and ask. Ask or no picture.”

Percy rolls his eyes. “Fine.”

He takes a bit longer to gather his courage for that to happen, however, and then he maybe stutters a bit when asking for the favor while Grover and Annabeth try not to laugh. He notices, flipping them off not so subtly. Fortunately, the woman who takes the pictures for them is nice enough, and more than fortunately, she doesn’t have a pet chihuahua. 

  
  


:

  
  


“I mean,” Percy says through mouthfuls of pizza, “I get why that lady told us St. Louis is famous for their food. This shit is delicious.”

Grover hums, eating the side of a fork and earning a slap in the shoulder from Annabeth.

“The pizza, Grover. _Not_ the silverware.”

The satyr fake-pouts. “But I like silverware.”

  
  


:

  
  


His stomach feels like it’s about to explode, but they still go to one of the bakeries nearby to pick up the gooey butter cakes Annabeth had seen earlier. Percy could never say no to Annabeth, so he buys some anyway. 

He especially loves the way her eyes light up as she takes the first bite, like a gorgeous lunatic. Soon, they’re all eating the dessert, not caring about how full they are. 

The taste, Percy realizes, reminds him of his mother’s cooking. Reminds him of melancholic and happy mornings in the kitchen—of only him and his mom—baking cookies while Gabe was at work, the light filtering at such an angle that the dust in the atmosphere could be seen swaying in the golden rays.

The sweet and buttery flavors of the cake are reminiscent to those of a mother giving her child a soft kiss on the forehead. Of his mother ruffling his hair, covered in flour that rains down to his shoulders like powdered snow. Of the warmth of a hand pressed to his cheek, the cheek that still stung from a slap in the face. A murmur, telling him that it’ll be alright.

Each blissful bite fills him with nostalgia, as bittersweet as it may seem. But with his friends, it feels like a sprinkle of hopefulness. And now that he thinks about it, everything _did_ turn out alright, in the end. Not perfect—but alright. And to him, that is enough.

:

  
  


They pass by Kansas City, through flatlands and green grass. To grocery stores and McDonalds’ and taking pictures of everything and anything. Percy sends them all to Sally.

From desert lands to the jutting Rocky Mountains capped with snow that he yearns to touch. Some of the places they encounter remind Percy of his quests. And in some cases, they _had_ stopped there, in the past, for whatever reason. 

When they’re not on the road or in a town or city, they go on trail walks, where pine trees and wildflowers take over nature, planted across the land. 

They buy little things from each place they visit, go bowling, get lost more times than they can count, visit landmarks where Annabeth can gush about the architecture, and they get kicked out of a grocery store for pushing Grover in a cart. They even play Hackysack. Annabeth wins.

No surprise; she was always good at it.

:

  
  


Annabeth rolls the windows down. Lets in the fresh air from the countryside. Her hair whips around, slapping her face. Percy makes fun of her. She makes a face, and Grover takes a picture, freezing the moment in time.

  
  


:

  
  
  


Some nights, they sleep in the car. Others, at cheap hotels, or a motel. Not that they don’t have money to spare; Annabeth likes to say that Frederick wants to bribe her to get on his good side. But still. They don’t want to spend it all on places to sleep. 

_We’re demigods, for gods’ sake._

So it comes as no surprise that they end up on a side road, away from city lights and other cars, staring up at the stars while laying on the soft grass. The sleeping bags are somewhere to the side, discarded. For now.

The stars blaze across the night sky, millions of worlds that will never be explored. 

“We did a good job, didn’t we?” Annabeth says softly. 

From Annabeth’s other side, he notices Grover looking at her. “On what?” 

“Saving the world.”

He sighs. “We should’ve saved ourselves, more like.” 

“Yeah. I guess.”

They let the chirping of the crickets carry out for some time.

"You think the gods are done with us?" Annabeth says.

"They better," Percy says.

"I'll stick it up their asses if they ever think otherwise."

He yawns. "Mmm. I don't think you'd have to do that. They're scared of you."

"S'nice, then."

Breaking the silence, a thought comes to him, loud and clear. “D’you guys ever wish, I don’t know—to like—be born, as someone else? Normal and stuff?” 

“What’s normal, anyway?” Grover yawns. His tiredness is getting the best of his best friend, by the looks of it. “To be human? And be the cause of the world dying because of greed and exploitation? No thanks.”

“That’s why we love you, G-man.”

“Exactly.”

“I don’t know,” Annabeth says, eyes yet to leave the constellations. “Sometimes, I wish…” 

“What?” Percy asks.

“No. Never mind.”

“Tell us.” 

Finally, she averts her gaze from the sky and turns her head to look at Percy. Then Grover. 

She lets out a quiet breath, thinking of the right words to explain, most likely. “Well, you said it, Perce. Sometimes I wish that...I was born from parents who actually loved me. Or that, that I didn’t have to worry about monsters, in the first place.” They all huddle closer together, heads molded into one. “I wish for a lot of things.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he can see her grinning. “But then I wouldn’t have met you dorks. Or any of my friends, for that matter. I wouldn’t _be_ here. As Annabeth Chase.”

“You don’t know that,” Grover says.

“No, I do. I’m Annabeth Chase because of my experiences, and my life, and who I was born to be. I would be another person if I were mortal. Even in some other alternate universe, you wouldn’t be _you._ You’d be someone else.”

“Sounds like you’ve thought of this a lot,” Percy says, taking her hand.

She hums, playing with his fingers. “And like I said, who knows if I’d still know you guys. And if I did, I doubt I’d love you both as much as I do now.” She lowers her voice, almost to a whisper. “I don’t think I’d change that for the world.”

“I agree with you,” Percy mumbles into her shoulder.

“‘Course you do,” Grover says.

“Ha-ha. Annabeth is pretty wise and awesome; get with the program, G-man.”

“No, you’re right.”

“Why thank you,” she smiles. 

“Daughter of wisdom and all that, am I right?”

“But to what Annabeth mentioned,” Percy says, “we wouldn’t be here if we weren’t thrown into this life. I don’t know. I think I’m cool with it, at the end of the day. Who knows if we’d even go to college together?”

“Gods,” she exhales. “College. Like, can you believe it? That we’re going to freaking _college?”_

“I’m not,” Grover adds helpfully.

Annabeth pushes his face away from her shoulder playfully. “Yeah, okay, Donkey.”

“Call me donkey one more time and I swear—”

Percy snorts. “Feels like yesterday, the day I first saw your hooves.”

“When _you_ mistook _me_ for a _donkey?_ Yeah,” the satyr scowls.

“And then my mom disappeared.”

“And then you passed out on the porch in the Big House,” Annabeth says.

“And then I thought you were a princess.”

Grover lets out a braying sound of frustration. “Of course you’d go for the romantic approach.”

“Let the man talk,” Annabeth says, smiling.

“Yeah, Grover.”

“Yeah, Grover,” she repeats.

He flips them off. They break out into giggles, like little children. 

They spend some more time that way, pushing each other, bantering. Percy ends up with his head on Annabeth’s stomach. Grover rests his on her shoulder.

“Ah, good times,” he says sarcastically, remembering little details about the beginnings of his demigod life. “Everyone was so fucking cryptic. Like I swear, I’m a new camper, and all this scary blonde girl says is weird stuff like ‘he’s the one’ and shit.”

“Well, what did you want me to say? Explain everything from scratch?”

“Um, yeah.”

“Ugh, okay fine.” She scoffs, “Wow. Okay, yeah. I’m sorry about that. But in my defense, we had questionable adult figures, didn’t we?”

Grover nods in agreement. “I never liked that horse.”

“He never showed me the orientation film,” Percy grumbles.

“Yeah, whatever.” She lifts her head, peering down at him. “And anyway, you were barely conscious when I said the thing about you being ‘the one.’” 

He grasps her hand again, grinning. “Guess you were right.”

“Guess so.”

They smile at each other.

“Ohhhhh!” Grover exclaims with a start. “Do you guys remember the time Annabeth kissed Connor in a dare?” 

“Um...I’d rather forget.”

He must be doing a weird face, because Annabeth laughs and says, “Don’t be jealous, babe.”

“I’m not!”

“You totally are.”

He opens his mouth to reply with a smartass comment, but Grover beats him to it.

“Eh. He has a right to be jealous. Half the camp had a crush on you both, anyway.” The satyr shakes his head. “It was so fucking funny. Well, except for the part where you two were pinning sooo hard for one another that it got old. Like, it was annoying. Suffered a lot. But I don’t know what I prefer now.”

Annabeth shoots him a strange look. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.”

The night once again falls on them like quiet snow, and they bask in it. Let their breathing mingle with the chilly breeze. He wants to get the sleeping bags so that they’re not so cold and feel more comfort, but he also doesn’t want to move from his place, resting in the softness of Annabeth, warm and alive. 

“I saw this documentary once,” Annabeth muses.

“About what?” Grover says, likely hoping for it to be from National Geographic or something.

“It was pretty interesting.” After a few seconds, she adds, “About the mind. Memory, dreams, things like that. It talked about how most of what we remember is just...made up. More imagination than reality. Our memories are so distorted, mostly relying on emotion, really. And it got me thinking...” 

“That’s a good thing,” Percy says.

Annabeth shakes her head at him, but continues anyway. “It got me thinking—nothing that we thought happened to us is exactly how it happened. We’re just...living the present with fake memories. We’re, in a way, living in a bubble of fake experiences. Everything is fake.”

Percy closes his eyes. Sometimes, her mind can be overwhelming. “Umm...didn’t you just give us a whole damn speech about Annabeth being Annabeth because of her experiences and—”

“Yes, I did, but it still doesn’t erase the fact that we can’t just rely on memories and things of the past, you know?”

“I think I get it,” Grover says. “Like, we can’t dwell on what happened, so all we can do is move on.”

“It’s kind of scary,” she sighs. “Nothing is what you think it was, and you can’t even go back. It’s warped and distorted like a broken telephone.”

“Okay.” Percy holds his hands up. “Now _that’s_ depressing.”

“Exactly.” Her hand moves to his hair, playing with it. He closes his eyes, enjoying the feeling. “It’s depressing. That everything moves on, whether you like it or not. We grow up, time goes by, and it feels like, like you missed a lot. You know?”

“You’re talking to the guy that missed six months of his life.”

“Yeah,” her voice falters. 

Percy notices and wraps his fingers around her hand that’s in his hair, kissing her wrist. “It’s okay, because we’re with you, right now. And this is the best trip ever.”

“I know it is,” she sniffles. Grover curls closer to her. “But I just wish that—we’ll never be fifteen again. Or twelve. Or sixteen. Or...I don’t know. We’ll never go _back._ Don’t you ever wish that you could pull a moment in time? Relive it again?”

“Plenty of times,” Grover murmurs. “But we can’t. We’ll never go back. Why should we? Like you said: what happened already happened. All we can do is...enjoy the present. And someday, today, will be warped. But we’ll be living anyway.”

“I think Grover’s giving you a run for your money, babe.”

“In what? Having an existential crisis? Join the club.”

He doesn’t respond to that, rather smile and search for constellations that he knows of. Hercules, Aquila, Sagittarius.

Now that he thinks about it, he’s always felt as though some moments weren't appreciated enough. That he obsessed over the wrong things.

And no matter how much he wants to, he can’t change that. No one can. So maybe breathing and listening to the crickets and the occasional owl is all he can do at the moment. Talking with Annabeth and Grover in hushed tones like they're sneaking out at camp is all that matters. 

_At the moment._

Percy crawls up from Annabeth’s stomach so that they can all rest as they were before, heads touching, shoulder to shoulder. 

“If everything changes,” she says, “we can still be certain of right now. That’s the thing. We grow, but we stay in the present. The present never leaves, even if our memories do.” 

He takes a deep breath.

In and out.

In and out.

“For what it’s worth,” he says. “I love you both. And I think knowing you two has been one of the best things about being a demigod, fake memories or not.”

“Me too,” Grover says wistfully. “I don’t know what I’d do without y'all.”

Annabeth, who had been quiet, regards them. The only light comes from the stars, so he can barely see the unshed tears in her eyes. But they’re present, he knows.

“I love you dorks,” she breathes, voice strained. “More than you will ever know.”

The sweet time they spend there, cuddling, is shattered by Percy’s snort. 

“What?” Annabeth asks.

“We’re just really weird. Talking about time and the present. You two sounded like dusty Greek philosophers or something.”

“Guess that’s where I got it from.”

“Wiseass.”

“Hush, you. Though I don’t know about Grover. Maybe it’s from all the enchiladas.”

“Probably,” Grover muses. “You should totally try it, Percy.”

“Ugh, shut up. You guys are just really deep, okay?”

The satyr pats his belly. “Yeah, like my stomach.”

Their laughter carries on like music as the wind dances around its melody, drifting it up, up into the starry sky.  
  


> _You’re the only friend I need (you’re the only friend I need)_
> 
> _Sharing beds like little kids (sharing beds like little kids)_
> 
> _We’ll laugh until our ribs get tough (we’ll laugh until our ribs get tough)_
> 
> _But that will never be enough (but that will never be enough)_

**Author's Note:**

> ummm I didn't expect to add in the Leo and Calypso part, but I have 0 self control and wanted Percy to have A Talk with her. I also wanted to write more angst for this, but my brain was like...no<3\. Anyway, I hope y'all enjoyed this as much as I did writing it, I think this is the best fic that I've written, so that's nice. Comments and kudos are appreciated!


End file.
